So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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