I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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