just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize