So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
