you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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