he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
