Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
