i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
