Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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