I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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