It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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