if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
