It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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