i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
