Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
