It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
