Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
