She's JV to your varsity
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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