I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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