real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize