Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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