Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize