Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
