Dual....:-)
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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