Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
