it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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