Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
