Having a random hookup so left but love u
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
