The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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