I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
