dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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