We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
