My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
