I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
