There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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