you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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