wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Randomize
