i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
