remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
