I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
