Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Drunk is a universal language darling
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize