Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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