We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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