Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
