My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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