he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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