sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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