So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
