I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
