I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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