I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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