if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
