you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
