he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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