Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
