Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize