I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
