i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
