How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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