tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize