Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
