i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
